The wrath of the dildosaur

sábado, 18 de abril de 2015

ACLARACIÓN: La siguiente historia fue escrita por un estudiante de undécimo grado, durante un ejercicio de escritura creativa. Es tan inapropiada e hilarante, que me resulta un crimen dejarla perder. 

THE WRATH OF THE DILDOSAUR

I have been on this planet for two centuries on a mission to find a rare metal called dildomium. I went with two companions -one is a giant green mushroom, and the other one is a walking tab of LSD. 

Our spaceship broke down because of two reasons: we ran out of weed, which kept us flying through the universe; and a flying dildobird got stuck in the engine. 

When we landed, we went to search for the rare metal. We walked and walked, looking at the amazing fauna of Dildo planet. There were giant purple dildos everywhere, feeding on the tall rubber trees. There were also one-eyed giant rubber snakes, in all shapes and colors. 
H
We felt a cold stare inside the forest of rubber trees; the ground started shaking. When we looked back, we saw a truly terrifying creature: it was the dildosaur! We have been warned about this beast back in Coochie central. 

Afraid, we started running, but it was hard due to the increased gravity field caused by the huge amount of dildos on the planet. The dildosaur had one eye;  it was colored neon blue, and it had two large ball-like legs, which allowed it to jump quite high. 

While we were running, we tripped because a one-eyed snake got into our way. We fell from an elevated cliff, and there we met our end as we got mortally penetrated by a stack of sharp dildomium shards. 

- J. F. Manotas, 11A

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